Disaster Sex is a well-known phenomenon. But Apocalyptic Sex – who knows. Hopefully the last journalist left will leave a story behind. Will it be racy and pacey or much ado about nothing?
Following Emmanuel Macron’s recent Press Conference about the Fertility Disaster facing France and our posts – Liberty Equality and Fertility – Sex, Fertility, France and Serotonin, French media have been covered in stories about the Apocalypse – the French are no longer making love.
The title of the article in Liberation above translates as Fucking – the French go on a Diet. The article is translated below. The full untranslated IFOP survey mentioned is in the link.
The extraordinary thing about this and all other articles is the failure of the journalists to spot and describe one of the Horseman of the Apocalypse – the SSRIs. Who knew the Horsemen would be Invisible? This fits right in with the message in Tail Wags God. As, translated for today, Philippe Pinel, one of the creators of modern medicine, said it’s great to have technologies but it’s an even greater art to know when to use them.
French Abstinence
According to an Ifop survey revealed by “Libération”, the French are making love less and less, particularly 18-24 year olds. Emancipation, abstinence by choice, asexuality, influence of porn, reactive ideas, lack of encounters. A lesser appetite for the flesh with multiple causes.
This is not going to help Emmanuel Macron’s hopes of seeing the country valiantly go back to making babies on an assembly line: the French, particularly the youngest, are making love less and less. Their rate of sexual activity has never even been this low since the 70s. This is what an Ifop study carried out for the sex toy company Lelo (1) which we are publishing exclusively: the proportion of people sexually initiated (i.e. having already slept with a third party even once in their life) who declare having had at least one sexual encounter in the last twelve months is now only 76 %, a drop of 15 points compared to a similar survey conducted in 2006.
It is especially among those under 25 that the drop is significant: more than a quarter of 18-24 year olds who have been sexually initiated have not had any sexual intercourse in the past year. That is five times more than in 2006. In addition, when the French intermingle in the hollow of a bed (or elsewhere), they do it less often: 43% of them report having sexual intercourse per week, while 58% in 2006 who said the same.
In the era of Tinder, Grindr, Bumble and others, HIV tests accessible to all, the pill and free condoms up to the age of 25 and still relatively good access to abortion, these figures seem counterintuitive. Why should people sleep together less when they have never had so many opportunities to do so – and without opprobrium? It would firstly be a matter of historical cycle, explains François Kraus, director of the gender, sexualities and sexual health division of Ifop: “The 80s and 90s were an era of hypersexualization, there was a dogma “I fuck So I am”. Today, we are moving towards a sexuality that is more qualitative than quantitative. It’s counter-cyclical: what one generation does intensely, the next does less.” In Post-romantic, how less romance could save love (and society), published by JC Lattès, Aline Laurent-Mayard, also creator of a podcast on asexuality (Free From Desire, or how asexuality freed me, Paradiso Media), does not describe anything else: “For a kid who grew up in the 90s-2000s, having sex is important. At the time, sex was everywhere, perhaps even more so than today. On the covers of women’s magazines, on TV sets, in films and series for teenagers, and of course, in advertisements for cars or deodorants. The message was clear: everyone likes sex, it’s the glue that binds a couple together, and if a couple stops sleeping together, it’s because the relationship is going badly.”
Dating Laziness
In 2018, a vast survey carried out in the United States had already documented the decline in appetite among younger people for (shared) pleasures of the flesh. Relayed by Kate Julian in the Atlantic, who spoke of a “sexual recession”, it showed that young people were starting their sexual lives later (40% of high school students had already been initiated in 2017, compared to 54% in 1991, according to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention’s Youth Risk Behavior Survey), but also that the number of partners among those who were sexually active had fallen. Additionally, twenty-somethings were two and a half times more likely to be abstinent than their elders, and 15% reported having had no sexual relations since entering adulthood.
In addition to a change in cycle, there are multiple causes. If dating applications give the feeling of making it possible to find, particularly in big cities, a partner at any time, they also induce what has already been described in the media as dating fatigue, i.e. the laziness of dating. make friends. “Today we talk a lot about information fatigue, disengagement from the world of work, and, in the same spirit, there is also sexual disengagement,” observes François Kraus. Despite the applications, meeting people requires effort, especially for women who no longer necessarily want to do all the preparation work – removing hair, stressing about their safety, etc. – for a one-night stand.” The pressure to perform also remains alive: “There is a very marked gender divide on this: an anti-feminist man will have a speech which closely links his masculinity to his sexual activity, those who are feminists, on the contrary, have a more sober sexuality. », he explains again.
Drenched in Porn
Competition from screens is also notable: all generations combined, the French sometimes admit to preferring to watch a series or play video games rather than engaging in sexual intercourse, particularly among those aged 30-39 (43% of men and 44% of women). Not to mention the impact of porn which produces two effects. In young people, it increases the pressure. For older people, it provides masturbatory support which undoubtedly ensures more, for women in particular, to get off. Thus, 44% of women aged 70 and over admit to having already avoided sexual intercourse to watch a pornographic film instead. For Vincent Grégoire, director of foresight at the Nelly Rodi marketing agency, and who is therefore interested in the practices of young people, “18-24 year olds are being bombarded with pornographic content earlier and earlier, there is so a lot of fantasies, idealization of sex. We are trying to set the bar very high. This creates fear and anxiety. They are afraid of not being good enough, of not being perfect. Their learning of sexuality is geared towards sporting, even Olympic, performance. Young people are afraid of seduction, of foreplay.”
Furthermore, “fifty years ago, we discovered a lot of things “on the job”. Today, this young generation is already aware of everything. There is less learning, less quest. You have to go straight there.” François Kraus agrees: “The fantasies are so powerful in pornography that for some the reality can be bland. Porn is a simple alternative to a mutually successful relationship, it’s less complicated than what a sexual relationship involves, before, during, and after. More difficult to assess but also highlighted is the impact of certain religious and political ideologies which would like to reserve these things in life only for “legitimate” couples. “The rise of religious fundamentalism and the return of ultranationalist and conservative movements are accompanied by a form of demonization of sex, the leagues of virtue are regaining power,” worries Vincent Grégoire. We pay little attention to it but these ideas are gaining ground and introducing into the minds of young people a feeling of guilt about relationships without commitment or about abortion. Some were raised in a form of freedom, even letting go. Their way of transgressing is to build barriers and limits. Others are also affected by the divorce of their parents and are looking to find the right person.”
Another explanation: the sex market, to put it roughly, is not accessible to everyone. Among sexually inactive singles, 67% of men and 61% of women said they had not found a partner they liked, and 62% of men and 41% of women said they had not found a potential partner they liked. And 61% of men (compared to 35% of women) felt like no one was interested in them. People, in particular men who do not fit the classic criteria of social success or who are not perceived as being of a high socio-cultural level, have more difficulty than urban, qualified women aged under 50. , to find the right fit for them. Women – with the exception of those who are perceived as ugly or old, as sociologist Eva Illouz (The End of Love, ed. Seuil, 2020) or author Virginie Despentes (King Kong Theory, Grasset, 2006) – have all the more control since they, as a general rule, no longer need to submit to the desires of a spouse to meet their needs. “Women’s financial autonomy allows them to realize that they do not have to always say yes if they don’t want to,” explains François Kraus. Sex was part of the couple’s economy, there was an implicit contract in the marital framework, which is increasingly undermined by feminist discourse.
In fact, if it remains strong, the notion of marital duty is slowly but surely unraveling. Even among men, who today make a greater distinction between masculinity and hypersexuality, adds François Kraus: “Men sometimes admit to forcing themselves, because in the general imagination, a man always wants to, otherwise he is not a man, even if it is annoying for his partner. Ten years ago, we could already see it. But the idea that a life as a couple necessarily involves a sexual life is being deconstructed, which constitutes a real anthropological break compared to two thousand years of history of marriages as they were forged in Judeo-Christian culture. .” views change slowly Thus, being fulfilled as a couple is no longer necessarily perceived as being linked to an intensive sexual life “Among seniors, the couple without sex is a notion that we get used to, we especially look for an emotional life partner . The most surprising thing is that we also find this trend among the youngest,” emphasizes Kraus.
Asexuality
This heading and image are not part of the Liberation article. When RxISK began to cover PSSD, it drew attention to the Asexual phenomenon – Asexuality: A Curious Parallel. This drew lots of comments but the question of whether taking an SSRI during pregnancy could cause asexuality is not an issue any media want to pick up.
Liberation continues here.
In this regard, we must credit the democratization of the notion of asexuality – which consists of not feeling, or very little, sexual desire -, or even of aromantism – never falling in love. Publishing houses and podcast studios have understood this well, seeing content on the subject surge in bookstores and on platforms in recent years, such as Asexual, from Instagram influencer Anna Mangeot (read opposite ). These orientations have long been perceived as strange or even unhealthy (the American Psychiatric Association considered asexuality a pathology until 2013). They are now better accepted, even if views are only changing slowly, as Julie, 25, a lawyer in Paris and asexual, testifies: “I live with the fear of rejection. The fear that people won’t accept me as I am. Thanks to social networks, I was able to see that I am not alone. More than a taboo, asexuality suffers from a lack of visibility and knowledge. People continue to imagine that everyone considers sex essential and that everyone wants it.” But being asexual or aromantic does not mean, as Aline Laurent-Mayard describes in Post-romantic, not having love in your life. Friends, roommates, brothers and sisters, in short the “heart” family off center of the couple or gender can also be sources of affection and tenderness, constitute support and accompany each person’s journey. Isn’t that the main thing??
This fits right in with the message in Tail Wags God. As, translated for today, Philippe Pinel, one of the creators of modern medicine, said it’s great to have technologies but it’s an even greater art to know when to use them.
annie says
Amour no more!
The extraordinary thing about this and all other articles is the failure of the journalists to spot and describe one of the Horseman of the Apocalypse – the SSRIs. Who knew the Horsemen would be Invisible?
Today’s press –
France’s reputation as a nation of lovers in disrepute as research suggests one in four adults in the country have had no sexual encounters in the past year
France’s reputation as a nation of lovers is so renowned that they even have a kiss named after them.
But research suggests the country is going through something of a dry spell – with one in four adults having had no sexual encounters in the past year.
A study revealed a noticeable decline in sex, particularly among young adults who are turning to television or video games instead of intimacy with their partners.
The survey of 1,911 respondents found that 24 per cent of French adults aged 18 to 69 reported no sex in the previous 12 months, compared with only 9 per cent in 2006.
The number of 18 to 24-year-old virgins increased from 5 per cent in 2006 to 28 per cent. Observers suggested the study reflects the fact that women, in particular, are less inclined to feel obliged to have sex with partners simply out of marital duty, as was more common in previous generations.
Francois Kraus, from pollster IFOP, noted a decline in social pressure to maintain an active sex life, with 12 per cent of respondents identifying as asexual – having no desire.
Just over half of French women admitted to engaging in sex without genuine desire, a significant decrease from 76 per cent in a similar survey conducted in 1981.
Mr Kraus put this change down to women’s increased financial autonomy, enabling them to assert their right to decline sexual encounters they are not interested in.
Today’s press –
Scientists claim lack of sex drive among people in their 40s and 50s caused by ‘couplepause’
Scientists at the Chongqing Medical University in China tracked the antidepressant use of those aged 50 to 70 in Finland.
The study found that while both sexes increased their antidepressant use in the run-up to and immediate aftermath of break-ups, divorce or bereavement, women’s use of these drugs was greater than men’s.
“Among seniors, the couple without sex is a notion that we get used to, we especially look for an emotional life partner . The most surprising thing is that we also find this trend among the youngest,” emphasizes Kraus.
Internationally, Jeff Bezos has ‘a new lease of life’ and Elon Musk makes lots of babies.
Even Ian Blackford; ‘SNP’s former Commons chief ‘cruelly’ dumps his wife ‘out of the blue’ for childhood sweetheart’
This would seem to knock-off Klaus –
The first report to British regulators of a patient with post-treatment genital arousal disorder dates to 1987.10 The first report of what is now called Post-SSRI Sexual Dysfunction (PSSD) was filed in 1991.10 It is likely that no doctors are aware of this.
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0141076819899299
Antidepressants are more likely than the nervous problems for which they are now given to wipe out our interest in or ability to make love.
Meanwhile 10% of people of sexually active years in developed countries are on antidepressants chronically.17 Nearly 20% of the population, therefore, may not be able to make love the way they want. In some deprived areas, the figure may be much higher. Some likely comfort themselves with the thought that once they stop treatment, they will get back to normal, when in fact they may be even less able to function.
There is a great need to recognise these treatment-related enduring sexual dysfunctions and pinpoint how they arise and might be treated.
Harriet Vogt says
Fascinating. And it’s not just French youth who seem increasingly uninterested in sex, even DIY, it seems to be common in many Western countries.
Some real psychological insight from Dr Marty Klein, experienced Californian sex therapist, about – why.1
Yes, the obvious stuff about the young being forced by financial circumstance to live with mum and dad longer, which obviously puts a damper on sexual frolics. The very real and appropriate anxiety about consent in a post ‘Me Too’ era. Sexuality being overshadowed by more fundamental individual existential angst about gender identity.
But, imo, the really insightful, if still quite obvious stuff, lies in Marty’s analysis of the effects of technology on teen sexual interest and expectations. The exponentially heightened, multi-dimensional intensity of social connection and sexual fantasies they experience from the internet make their own early fumbles pale into awkward insignificance. Their most developed sexual senses are thus visual – not the full set of five – not touch, tactility, arguably the most sexual of all our senses.
Just listen to this from Marty:
“In therapy sessions, young people are asking me—in ways they previously did not—“How am I supposed to “How am I supposed to get excited and stay excited during sex without anything else going on?”
And, of course, there is no mention of the chemicals, affecting both our inner and outer environments, that steal one of the greatest delights of being human – our sensuality.
For once – I can say that I’m happy, even deliriously so – not to have been born yesterday.
1https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/sexual-intelligence/202208/why-todays-teens-are-having-so-much-less-sex