This post is by Tracey G. Tracey approached me and as you’ll see others in October 2020 for materials on antidepressants to give her Member of Parliament, Johnny Mercer. She had been in touch in 2018 – “lost in the world of not being taken seriously or believed with regards to a possible protracted withdrawal”. It was easy believe her but not easy help – no-one knows how to help when this happens – See Side Effexor Withdrawal, Protracted Antidepressant Withdrawal and Helping H.
Tracey’s Story
I ended up on an antidepressant called venlafaxine (Effexor) and knew when I missed a dose I would be sick. I’d never heard they could cause problems or that they’re hard to come off, so I never acknowledged that missing a dose and the subsequent dizziness and brain zaps – I didn’t have the language at the time to describe them that way – were signs that I’d need to taper off slowly. There was no information at all. I barely used the very new internet, other than for social media, mostly sharing funny animal animations. I never considered looking up the effects I felt when I missed a dose.
The media education around mental health was hardcore “you have a chemical imbalance and tablets correct that imbalance” but that never felt right to me. I liked philosophers and looking at the bigger picture. If a plant is struggling maybe it needs more or less water, more or less sunlight and definitely more or less love. Something was irking me very early on, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.
Fast forward and lots of time going through the mental health system, sometimes wanting diagnoses and medication. I felt uneasy in the world and wanted validation that I was unable to give to myself. I’d never been able to soothe myself and even as an adult I looked to others to “parent” me. Psychiatry suited that. At the time it gave me the security I thought I was looking for.
I ended up trying lots of different types of medications and in the end settled for a combination of Venlafaxine, Quetiapine, Pregabalin and Amitriptyline. Pregabalin – Lyrica – at the time was very new. I’d be tapered off Valium in 3 weeks in a detox unit. My anxiety, amongst other feelings I couldn’t put words to, was atrocious. The first dose of Pregabalin brought me powerfully and noticeably “back into my body”. I never had that experience again after the first dose. Higher doses were needed to get the same effect. There was no warning about addiction/dependence and no-one told me about the awful withdrawal from this drug. (See Kicking Lyrica).
Fast forward and a decision was made with my family doctor to stop three of the meds. I was about to cold turkey three medications with no warning that it could be dangerous.
I became very unwell. I’m, for some unknown reason, able to focus myself and distract myself (sometimes) despite intense suffering. Other times I just have to lie down until the nightmare subsides. I didn’t go back to the doctor because I didn’t appreciate the risk I’d taken. I did try to hang myself. No questions about withdrawing off the drugs were asked, and I never considered it a determining factor at the time.
I made the further decision to stop my venlafaxine cold turkey, so I could be free from all medications. I had been on it for fifteen years. I still can’t put what happened into words. I walked through an invisible wall into a nightmare of suffering that no one else could see or appreciate. I stopped sleeping. I had less than an hour a night for over a year and experiences I can only describe as vaguely paranormal. I still didn’t appreciate this was all withdrawal.
When I saw a TV program with a woman called Tabitha, talking about venlafaxine and protracted withdrawals, the penny dropped. Up until then, I’d been going to primary care doctors randomly sobbing, feeling very physically unwell and vulnerable, and was frequently met with anger, denial and hostility. I had to keep trying different doctors.
I went with my partner to a new doctor, feeling somewhat hopeful he’d look into the evidence about venlafaxine and protracted withdrawals but he point blank refused to consider this. I was having night time fits at this point, and unbearable sound sensitivity, and other symptoms, but he wouldn’t investigate the fits because they weren’t witnessed. I was not trusted as a witness to myself.
I numbed my distress, felt ashamed and considered his suggestion of quetiapine to help me sleep. I hadn’t slept for a year and a half at this point and I could tell he suggested quetiapine as much for the “mental health” I was experiencing, as for the sleep. He was certain I was in a mental health episode unrelated to withdrawals. My body told me that was untrue.
I’d joined the withdrawal groups on Facebook and was starting to see a pattern of cold turkey and fast tapering and atrocious symptoms. People in crisis daily. I’ve lost count of the people I’ve spoken to over the years, in forums and directly messaging, who were in the same prolonged distress that I was in with the same experiences with primary care doctors.
I’d supported people who’d taken their own lives. One was cold turkeyed off venlafaxine by a doctor in America. She’d also been isolated from her family by the doctor who convinced them she was mad and that the forums she was on for support and understanding were making her worse. This is the standard akathisia story.
Another man was local and came to me through a Kinesiologist I see (the only therapy that brought a lot of my suffering down a level). Tom (not his name) was in the same distress and my kinesiologist thought I’d be able to support him in some way. He’d been “bridged” off one drug onto another a few years back and had never been the same since. He took his life.
The Quetiapine I’d been put on made me feel worse, even though I got some sleep. The nightmares I experienced were haunting. When my doctor asked how I felt I told him and he said, “Quetiapine can cause depression” and offered me an anti-depressant to counteract what he thought was a side effect. At this point, because I’d been through poly drugging (symptom chasing), I took control and tapered myself off. I crawled off quetiapine tapering as best I could, feeling like Tom did, desperate to get off the drug as quickly as possible. I had aggressive persistent looping suicidal thoughts and serious physical symptoms. I had no medical support. I’m lucky to be alive.
I wanted to find a way to make a change, somehow. I was learning how medications can cause mental health episodes – a friend of mine had only ever experienced voices on medications. This is something I still frequently come across. I was seeing heart-breaking preventable long-term life changing nervous system injuries. It was very distressing to see this over and over again with people being blamed for their suffering.
I thought educating prescribing doctors was the only way to break the cycle of what is perhaps abuse or at least negligence. Medical schools didn’t seem the best option. Someone independent seemed needed.
Approaching Johnny
I approached my Member of Parliament, Johnny Mercer, who was really keen to help, with talk of setting up an independent panel of educators to reach newly trained doctors.
Then I received a phone call stating he shouldn’t have offered me that. After that, the emails from his office started. They bombarded me with “proof” – the NICE guidelines – and how they were being adhered to. It was frustrating, invalidating, and disrespectful. They were determined to prove I was wrong.
It took me time to get my strength back. By this time I’d spent three summers in bed, had to take three baths a day to calm down and was frequently overwhelmed and full of self-doubt. There was lots of back and forth through emails. Then the acknowledgement of my emails stopped.
I decided to keep sending proof of what was happening. I sent videos of doctors who were struggling to come off medications – Mark Horowitz and Peter Gordon. I sent up to date articles clearly stating that there is a massive problem. I posted on the Let’s Talk Withdrawals page, requesting people to send me a message I could send my MP telling exactly what happened to them. They never replied.
I built up strength to ask for a second appointment. I was incredibly nervous, which I stated when I Zoomed. A lady was present who wasn’t introduced, which made me feel really intimidated. We did not communicate well and in retrospect I realised he’d not looked at one thing I’d sent. He’d made his mind up that everything was in order and told me I was a very difficult woman and insinuated I was a conspiracy theorist.
I was devastated, came off the call and cried. I have no family around me and I’d just split from my partner. I really struggle to trust now and don’t make or keep friends easily anymore. I was vulnerable. Covid was happening and I was very isolated.
I wanted to assess the interview and emailed to ask if I could have a copy of the meeting, assuming because we were on screen that it had been recorded. For my sanity I wanted someone else to look at what happened because I couldn’t make sense of it at the time.
Johnny Mercer’s office haven’t replied to either of my requests for a copy of the meeting.
I came away from all support groups. I couldn’t cope with the day-to-day crises anymore. It took me months to find my voice again and its still very shaky.
Gauntlet
Apart from the three posts above, there was another RxISK post about Venlafaxine withdrawal in June 2020 Managing Effexor and SSRI Withdrawal that featured an image with the British House of Parliament in the background – before Tracey got in touch about contacting JM.
Johnny Mercer portrays himself as having inner demons from childhood – these things can stay with you, he says, for 50-60 years.
He is ex-army, a Captain in Afghanistan. He became a British Conservative MP and was in Boris Johnson’s Cabinet but resigned in April 2020 saying the British government needed to stop harassing soldiers who had been linked to the killing of innocent civilians in Northern Ireland during the Troubles there.
He has been contacted about this post. There will be a follow-up post next week with more details.
susanne says
I think they are listening. Otherwise they wouldn’t have a stash of standard replies used as a template to shut people up -sometimes literally when the person can’t stand any more of the callous run around. What is Johnny Mercer afraid of? Citizens in the UK don’t generally get strung up if they speak out -he could enlighten us as to who is giving the orders to use the strategy of first patronize, then accuse of being ‘difficult’ (a ploy often used especailly where a mental illness tag is handy) then refusal to engage. It wouldn’t be easy, would draw flak but he could still do the honourable thing from a position of knowing the truth ,even using aspects of his own experience . He knows the truth is being sat on Prescribed drugs can harm and kill innocent people as much as bullets
mary H says
Tracey, I have just read and re-read this post and am still in disbelief. I just cannot comprehend that the human body can be taken through repeated periods of such cruelty and come through the lot with the ability to convey the suffering to others in such a clear, structured manner. You are just brilliant!
We met you when we joined up for the zoom meeting with David two weeks ago. You came across as such a caring person – a person without a trace of the horrific issues that must have plagued you for a large part of your life. THIS IS THE MOST ASTONISHING PART OF THESE STORIES – you have got through the years of suffering but there is very little to show for it. No lost limbs, no disfigurement – nothing that our eyes can see and because of that, people in general cannot fathom out the reality of what you have been through. We get the ” he/she looks ok to me” glance when we explain about the severe loss of energy, or ” I know all about exhaustion, surely he/she could do more if they put their mind to it like I did” attitude. NO BODY KNOWS THE DEPTH OF THAT SUFFERING EXCEPT THE ONES WHO HAVE SUFFERED FROM THIS REPEATED POISONING.
As someone who has seen this from the side lines, I can vouch for your genuine recording of events because of Shane’s experiences. As I always say, had we not witnessed Shane’s suffering, I doubt if I could believe that such cruelty is allowed to continue in this way. IT IS WAY BEYOND MOST PEOPLE’S COMPREHENSION – and that is where the problem lies.
The more these reports are shared, the better the chance of breaking through the wall of disbelief that faces us at present. Tracey, let’s hope that many others, on reading this report of your suffering, feel empowered to come out with their own stories of suffering too. You have all been hidden for far too long – let’s continue to push forwards into the light.
I know that many of you are scared of a backlash if you speak out. In that case, can’t we have these stories, without your full names and photos, printed by us as individuals, plastered all over our communal areas – places where people congregate with a few minutes to spare perhaps? We cannot know which words in any particular report may touch a nerve here or there. Whilst these stories remain out of the eyes of the general public we just cannot possibly get the truth out there.
Shane’s story is fairly well known in our immediate area but, because it is the only story of its kind locally, scepticism remains. With your permission, Tracey, I would like to add your story to Shane’s as the beginning of a collection of true reports of exactly how so many lives have been ruined for no reason other than trusting those whose position in life gave you every reason to put faith in them. You were failed and all of us should now do our utmost to support you as you share your innermost feelings about those failures – none of which were due to your own negligence.
Tracey says
Thank you for your very kind supportive words
Marion Brown says
Thank you for writing this Tracey.
There is a massive cover-up / suppression going on.
I/we have written to countless politicians … and they all revert to the ‘party line’.
There are certain very influential ‘expert advisers’ to Govt. and Govts/NHS are very much ‘in bed with’ Pharma.
Still banging away though! In whatever way we can.
And your blog is a very important illustration which will definitely be built on.
Sharing widely now!
Marion Brown
My own latest …
https://bjgp.org/content/71/708/316/tab-e-letters
annie says
We Were Warriors: One Soldier’s Story of Brutal Combat by Johnny Mercer – review
One of the best ever memoirs of what battle is really like, says Robert Fox
https://www.standard.co.uk/culture/books/we-were-warriors-one-soldier-s-story-of-brutal-combat-by-johnny-mercer-review-a3571146.html
“The MP – who is a former Army captain – wrote that the government had “abandoned people in a way I simply cannot reconcile” in allowing “endless investigations” into historic killings to continue.”
The Title won’t be lost on you, Tracy G.
‘Then I received a phone call stating he shouldn’t have offered me that.’
A totally engrossing and vivid account from Tracey G. and someone who went the extra mile with her MP which has brought up more questions than answers and well done Tracey for taking your courage in both hands to pursue what you knew to be a volte-face and how demeaning you found it.
We are listening, with ‘all ears’ to your brave story – and to further ‘enlightenment’…
Ed White says
Thanks for writing this, Tracey. I have written to you MP in support. I will be interested to see if I get a reply!
“Dear Mr Mercer,
By now you will no doubt be aware of an article mentioning your involvement with one of your constituents, Tracey Glazebrook (https://rxisk.org/whats-a-life-worth-is-anyone-listening/), during her horrific experience of being seriously harmed by psychiatric drugs and the total inability of Drs and psychiatrists to safely withdraw her, and many other people, from them. The website it is published on is run by world drug safety expert, Professor David Healy
I don’t know much about your work, but I understand you campaign on various aspects of the armed forces treatment of those impacted by the horrors of war. I applaud this work and I suspect many of those you have helped will also have been exposed to psychiatric drugs, some with positive outcomes, but likely some with quite negative ones as well. Herein lies the issue. The impact of these drugs on people is highly variable. Initially, my own experience of taking an antidepressant was positive. The drug worked and helped me recover from a period of emotional distress. However, when I tried to stop the drug some years later, all hell broke loose. My suffering was not as bad as Traceys, but it was horrific and I am surprised I survived it. It is documented here https://rxisk.org/antidepressant-withdrawal-avoid-doctors/
Since then I spent two years supporting others to safely withdraw from antidepressants in a large Facebook group – now with nearly 7,000 members. As I have a science background I wrote a paper on the subject and it was published earlier this year in a reputable journal – https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/2045125320981174 with much publicity surrounding it, and with a lot of help and support from Prof John Read and Dr Mark Horowitz. I continue to research and campaign in this area. For me the experience of coming off an antidepressant without educated support and guidance has prompted me to try hard to stop others experiencing the same fate. For many, it has already been fatal.
Recently, the Royal College of Psychiatry published new guidelines on antidepressant withdrawal – it’s a massive step forward – https://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mental-health/treatments-and-wellbeing/stopping-antidepressants Even more recently the Maudsley Hospital updated its guidelines on the same subject. This is even more significant as this high quality guidance should filter through into trainee psychiatrists curricula. Frankly, the sooner this happens, the better.
What frustrates me is that you and many of your colleagues are in a position to help people like Tracey and many others. Her experience is not uncommon, as the evidence I present above confirms. The combined might of the pharmaceutical companies and the medical establishment have managed to suppress this issue for decades, but finally things are changing, albeit slowly.
Quite frankly, I think the least you should do is apologise to Tracey for the error you have made ignoring her request for support. Even better would be for you to update your knowledge of treatments for emotional distress and use your position of influence to help to ensure more people are not harmed by them. You could start here http://prescribeddrug.org/ (chaired by my local MP, cc’d on this email)
Yours sincerely
Ed White
Dr Ed White
Jenny says
Jeremy Hunt (previous Health Secretary in the U.K.) has been banging on about drug errors for years. He was also involved in the Cumberledge report which reported on medications that harmed unborn children and also on mesh inserts which caused great harm to women. Maybe he will listen. If I had the energy to keep trying to tell my awful story of the harm drugs can cause, particularly to vulnerable people like the elderly or those who are polydrugged I would but I am too still too sick to do this 7 years on…. Maybe someone could get Jeremy Hunt on board…. At least he seems to listen and act on matters relating to drugs. I once listened to a video where he advised doctors to admit to drug errors so that we could learn from
mistakes rather than trying to cover them up.
Dr. David Healy says
This would be great – except the Cumberledge group and process wanted nothing to do with the harms of current drugs – their material is all historical. Cumberledge risks making things worse by giving everyone the impression rotten apples have been thrown out of the barrel when its the barrel and the apples still in it that need looking at.
DH
susanne says
See new Tweets
Tweet
Royal College of Psychiatrists
@rcpsych
·
7 Aug
We are pleased to announce the launch of our curricula consultation. This is your opportunity to feedback on all key elements of our proposed curricula framework, due for implementation in August 2022.
The consultation will close on Friday 13 August 2021
https://rcpsych.ac.uk/training/curricula-and-guidance/curricula-review-project/curriculum-framework-2022-consultation
An opportunity to respond with ref to the post on twitter I have written to the college of psychs to ask how people can trust what happened to you Tracy G – and countless others ,won’t happen to them Will send to GP cttees to ask the same question. Will post any replies if any.
susanne says
Mad in the UKMad in the UK
Royal College of Psychiatry Representative Resigns From Government Review After Complaints About Drug Company Involvement
By MITUK admin -25/09/201821836
Share on Facebook Tweet on Twitter
On Tuesday 25th September, The Times published a front-page article entitled: “Drugs adviser David Baldwin quits after being branded ‘worse than Hitler’ in online abuse row.”
The article, by Health Editor Chris Smyth, reported that Psychiatrist Professor David Baldwin had resigned from a position on Public Health England’s review of Prescribed Drug Dependence, and blames personal abuse on social media.
The background to the story dates back to a meta-analysis of antidepressant efficacy and tolerability published in The Lancet in February 2018. Following professional criticism of that study, particularly that antidepressant withdrawal was not mentioned, Professor Baldwin, representing the Royal College of Psychiatrists, wrote to The Times, with the College’s President, Professor Wendy Burn, stating:
“In the vast majority of patients, any unpleasant symptoms experienced on discontinuing antidepressants have resolved within two weeks of stopping treatment.”
This statement upset and dismayed many people who found themselves struggling to withdraw over months and sometimes years. It also resulted in a group of thirty academics, psychiatrists and people with experience of withdrawing from antidepressants, writing to the Royal College of Psychiatrists, to request they retract their claim in The Times or provide research evidence for it. They have done neither.
More recently, it became clear that Professor David Baldwin was to be an expert adviser on a Government-led review into Prescribed Drug Dependence. The group of thirty again wrote to The Royal College of Psychiatrists, pointing out the fact that David Baldwin had received honoraria and funding from multiple pharmaceutical manufacturers. The letter firmly but politely asked that Professor Baldwin be replaced with a member of the Royal College who had no such conflicts of interest. It was made clear that Professor Baldwin was not suitable to advise an independent Government-led review into Prescribed Drug Dependence.
The Times reported that Professor Baldwin is claiming that John Read ‘helped to fan the flames of online abuse’ and that ‘he blamed Professor Read and other complainants for fuelling online anger’. This false claim could be seen as personal abuse and potentially libellous.
Professor John Read, a member of the group of thirty, is quoted, saying that he “utterly condemned” the insults and dismissed any suggestion of an orchestrated campaign. “We are trying to raise an issue of scientific integrity.” He added: “We can’t control the anger of people by denial of what these drugs can do.” Another of the group of thirty, Professor Sami Timimi, a psychiatrist who complained about Professor Baldwin, also condemned abuse but said: “The review will be better off if it doesn’t have anyone with the sorts of conflicts of interest that Professor Baldwin has.”
Ironically, Wendy Burn called for debate of the issues to be ‘informed, professional and respectful’, after the College had removed from its own website their own survey of several hundred antidepressant users showing that the original Burn and Baldwin statement grossly underestimated the withdrawal effects.
susanne says
A snippett from :- complete article online
A personal account of depressive illness and its antidepressant treatment
Baldwin, David S.
International Clinical Psychopharmacology: November 2019 – Volume 34 – Issue 6 – p 286-290
doi: 10.1097/YIC.0000000000000273
OPEN
Depression crept quietly over me as a shadow lengthens towards dusk. Probable contributory factors include familial predisposition, multiple bereavement, physical illness and being abused online. The first few days of antidepressant drug treatment were unsettling, but I responded steadily, the medication side effects proved tolerable, and my depressive and anxiety symptoms had remitted within 4 weeks. Insights from literature were helpful in recovery. I hope this experience of illness and treatment will enhance my clinical practice and contribute to discussions about depression and antidepressant medicines.
Sarah says
Im so sorry that you had this response Tracey- or lack of a response I should say. To email someone the NICE guidelines in this way is appalling. Its a cheap response and utterly meaningless in the context of your own suffering. Your life and experiences are a million times more valuable and real than any guidelines could ever be. The truth is uncomfortable, messy and inconvenient and its easier to call you a “really difficult woman” and shut you down than to engage with you on this.
I agree with Mary’s comment above about the level of suffering being beyond what most people can comprehend. I have found this to be true. Those who don’t understand withdrawal and Iatrogenic harm have no clue to the depths of suffering people endure or the way withdrawal can affect someone so profoundly. It takes an inordinate amount of strength to navigate something like this and the most wretched part is that for most people this intense suffering goes unwitnessed, unacknowledged and unsupported.
It would have been courteous if you’d been told about the presence of the other lady during the Zoom meeting and I hope you were offered the opportunity to have someone with you on the call Tracey if you would have found this helpful. I would have offered to sit in on this with you had I thought my presence might make a jot of difference. If Mr Mercer doubts this is a real problem or thinks you are an exception, he is mistaken and given the increasing rates of SSRI use especially by younger women, I fear he may have to get comfortable in the years to come with a good few more “really difficult women” lining up at his door….
tim says
Sarah,
“I fear he may have to get comfortable in the years to come” – re increasing SSRI use.
I hope all MPs, especially those in Plymouth, become more aware of AKATHISIA and disinhibition in the weeks to come.
We are asked not to speculate with regard to the tragic deaths of six people shot and killed in Plymouth (UK) last night. Those who record their psychotropic drug injuries and bereavements on this website will have been asking themselves throughout the night: “Was he taking an SSRI? Is this yet another AKATHISIA induced murder -‘suicide’ – iatrogenic catastrophe?
The Police state: Not related to terrorism. No further persons are sought. Passers by are reported to have observed: ‘He was just walking calmly up the street’. We have heard these phrases so many times before. The coroner will not apparently address this key possible causal factor. Might one of the Plymouth Politicians do better? It would be so valuable to our Veterans as well as our loved ones and families.
I have lived in this most beautiful city, and I have seen intense AKATHISIA and its devastating sequelae. Enough is enough of the refusal to accept the absolute necessity to consider ADRs to SSRIs/SNRIs et al when such violence occurs.
Could this be the tipping point, so very long awaited, where prescription-drug induced violence against others and then self, might at last be adequately considered?
annie says
Feeling ill-at-ease at the compassionate nature of Johnny Mercer directed at the Plymouth Shooting Incident but his constituent was not offered any support for her near-death experience from prescription drugs or suggestions of help.
Johnny Mercer
@JohnnyMercerUK
A message for Plymouth this evening Thinking of the families. If you’re a witness, it’s totally normal to be traumatised by what you have seen. We’ve worked hard to make sure help is available – please take it. Huge respect to our brilliant emergency services
MP Johnny Mercer’s Video message for Plymouth
https://www.somersetlive.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/live-plymouth-shooting-investigation-updates-5781368
In contrast, My MP, was immensely sympathetic, so much so that he wrote to the Health Secretary at the time and he received a long report from Andy Burnham – this was around 2006 and the report contained the work of David Healy on the subject of Seroxat. My MP forwarded this report to me and I was really impressed to have had my query to my MP addressed in such a professional way by the actions that he took on my behalf.
ANON says
Hello Tracey,
I can relate only too well with your story.
I wrote to many politicians, confronted many doctors, set up a petition ~ like you, I was considered a very difficult lady. Most likely perceived as a trouble maker rather than a keen activist.
When I was in the midst of seven long moths of relentless pain and suffering, I believed that I was going to see NO light at the end of the tunnel.
There was no magic pill that would alleviate my tortured suffering.
There was no place I could call home.
There was nothing that would give me peace or happiness from the torture, I had to endure.
Like you, I saw many professionals and there was no one who could help me.
I had to help myself.
Death was an easy option however, to my disbelief that did not work for me.
My mission was to reach out to many people in positions of leadership and to create the necessary changes that are so necessary for all the human species.
At the time, I did not have the vocabulary, knowledge or insight to articulate the circumstances surrounding my case.
No one told me about my condition or why I had experienced so much unnecessary suffering: physically, mentally and psychologically.
I had great aspirations and ideals of changing policies that just did not seem ethically/morally right to me.
Like you, Tracey, it has all ‘fizzled out!’
Like Greta Thunberg, I was passionate about getting my story out there.
I wanted to educate people about my experiences and let people know that ‘no one’ is immune from the pitfalls of medicine.
Sadly, I had no one to advocate for me.
No politician(s) took me seriously.
No Lawyer understood the damages that were incurred as a result of medication iatrogenesis.
Like you Tracey, I had no one believe my story.
I felt like I was the only person in this world who had been given a cross to bear on my own.
Then one night, in the wee hours of the morning, I accidentally stumbled upon RXISK.
Like a deer in headlights, I could not believe that there were like-minded people who actually spoke my language.
For the first time, people could relate with me and I could relate with them.
I no longer felt alone.
Although, my journey has been thwarted with unbelievers, I started to feel like I had a purpose and obligation to fulfil on RXISK although to the outside world, I was viewed as a pest, a conspiracy theorist, freak or a ball-breaker, I was not going to let these personified labels get in my way.
With Rxisk, comes responsibility.
With Rxisk, comes the judgments.
With Rxsik, comes the unknown and challenges
With Rxisk, if you have been let down by:
– those who were supposed to have your back
– those who were supposed to care for you
– those who were meant to advocate for you
– those who were going to be your mentor and help you achieve something good out of your adversity
Don’t believe or think for one second, your voice goes unheard.
We come here, in the hope of creating support for those who need encouragement.
We come here as educators.
We try to give comfort or support, when many had no one to turn to.
Just when you believe, you have had it tough, you come here to Rxisk and you feel like you are not alone navigating the stormy waters all by yourself.
Just like a lotus flower growing out of the muddy water, you grow, evolve and let go of the fear of what others think of you.
You come here to help, support, encourage and inspire and if we can’t CHANGE THE WORLD, all in one hit, we know we have others like us all FIGHTING for the very same thing because we know that form that muddy water something beautiful awaits for all of us.
Thank you Tracey for sharing your heartfelt story.
One person speaks up and the ripple effect just keeps on flowing………………..
I hope this song inspires you to keep dreaming with hope in your heart.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BLZtT1ogViA
AC says
Tracey I am so sorry to hear of the distress caused by this second Zoom meeting. Especially after all that you have been through and continue to struggle with.
I wonder what caused JM to change his mind about helping you. Where did his ‘Orders’ come from?
Current NICE guidelines are far from Gospel for many GPS. They also as we know do not go far enough, especially the guidelines on AD tapering and withdrawal, which until very recently suggested withdrawal symptoms would last a mere 2 weeks.
Quietly dropping correspondence with someone (Ghosting) seems par for the course, it’s far easier to do that then dispute the indisputable.
I suspect the material you did send has been viewed. Peter Gotzche, Mark Horowitch, Peter Gordon Professor Healy are all extremely credible.
Yet anyone that causes ripples is called a troublemaker, an anti-Psychiatry bully, a Conspiracy Theorist or if all else fails a Scientologist.
Professor Healy and other Rxisk, representatives do not say anything they cannot back up. They do follow ‘The Science’. I, m not sure what Politicians, Dr’s, The Media follow? But its not something they ever produce evidence for. Maybe Pharma hype over facts, Ghost written articles, profit driven ‘articles’ in influential Journals.. Who still need Pharma’s money.
It is indeed a rotton barrel problem not a rotton apple problem.
So who is seeing hearing and smelling the rot? Politicians, Dr’s, Journalists seem blind, deaf, nose blind to the quite frankly stench.
Yet hundreds if not thousands online daily raise their voices tell their stories, many on Twitter and U-tube are getting their stories out there.
JM clearly has an understanding of trauma. It is traumatic to tell a story like Tracey, it is incredibly RE-traumatising to not be believed. Many of us, including Tracey have told in depth stories /accounts to both the Scottish (#Marion Brown) and Welsh #Stevie Lewis.. Parliaments, I think there are over 200 accounts in each Petition. I, m sure Mr Mercer can be directed to these petitions. There are some brave Jornalists writing about these matters including Sarah Vine (Micheal Goves former wife) and Miranda Levy (More difficult women!). Some of us have had support from our MPs… JM seems like a brave an honourable man, a ‘Warrior’ who wants to help get important things done. In one of his Tweets Aug 8th,he said ‘Credit, where credit is due, changes have been made this week that will genuinely save lifes’
What a crying shame that Tracey and hundreds like her are treated in such a callous, unjust way.. Especially by those that could iniate, and maintain these life saving changes.
ANON says
This is a great outcome to acknowledge, Annie.
I only wish we had some MP’s in Australia doing the same for us victims of cascade iatrogenesis.
I <3 the following:
In contrast, My MP, was immensely sympathetic, so much so that he wrote to the Health Secretary at the time and he received a long report from Andy Burnham – this was around 2006 and the report contained the work of David Healy on the subject of Seroxat. My MP forwarded this report to me and I was really impressed to have had my query to my MP addressed in such a professional way by the actions that he took on my behalf.
There are many of us still waiting for this positive outcome…………………………….! What do we have to do to achieve this exceptional result? ~ "It’s not what you know, but who you know!"
Yes, Marion Brown, I totally agree with your sentiments regarding the following statement:
There are certain very influential ‘expert advisers’ to Govt. and Govts/NHS are very much ‘in bed with’ Pharma.
Still banging away though! In whatever way we can.
So eloquently put.
As for Johnny Mercer, I congratulate you for having the courage to enter the wild jungle of politics and confront the saber tooth tigers. I hope you don't get eaten alive by those man eaters, like I did!
It takes people with moral conviction to get into politics and set the records straight.
It would be a phenomenal achievement if you could get some of those who work in Government to stop banging away with Big Pharma.
Quote:
At the heart of every great change is a great man.
Marion Brown says
Here is the e-letter that Tracey G wrote – and had published by BJGP – British Journal of General Practice – and which includes a link to this Rxisk Blog!
https://bjgp.org/content/71/710/397.1/tab-e-letters#my-experience-coming-off-medications-and-the-current-system
Mrs Johnson says
This is true courage of the mind, body and soul, i thank you for your raw no holds barred experience.
At this moment in time i am 2 months into med free citalapram, it was only 20mg but my god this is pure agony. My mind is a lot better, but my body is really going through the motions, shaking, muscle tension and shortness of breath, i find this to be the most scary. I wake up in the morning (sleep is getting better) and say to myself “well i didnt pop me clogs in the night”..im still here.
Doctors dont tell you this when they dish them out, i started taken them dec 2019 so not to long.
to be honest i dont really think they did anything for me, i did notice i started to get heart palps.
Then came Covid, most of the doctors went underground, my own gp practice had virtual barbed wire at the door and rottwiler receptionists.
mental health outlets suddenly went into a black hole never to be seen again, i dont know what is going to happen to the “alleged” 70 million antidepressants that where dished out during lockdown and how the hell these people are going to come off of these meds, half or more arnt going to because of lack of support, this is going to be the biggest mental health disaster this country has ever seen.
I am taking it one day at a time, the only thing i am taking is a multi vit capsual and some magnesium and lots of self care and praying to what ever god is listening to see me through this, because i am very scared, anxious withdrawal intensified.
The NHS website states you will ok in 4 to 6 weeks, what a joke.
Many thanks for taking the time to highlight this horror.