Having been the first Head of State to introduce Mandates, Jorge Mario Bergoglio appears to have gotten the bit between his teeth and is now embracing (perhaps the wrong word) modern medicine rather completely.
While one will surely come, there is not at present an mRNA gene therapy against the sexual abuse of minors or others. In this case Pfizer have done things the other way around and have Zoloft, a pretty effective agent for this purpose, probably as effective as Paxlovid for Covid, before developing a gene therapy.
The advantage of a gene therapy is you can make money from an entire population rather than just those who are obviously ill.
A previous Vatican Head of State, Josef Ratzinger, offered the view that this mandate is wonderful news and he fully supports Super Mario’s initiative.
While clearly being a priest is a form of immunization, Ratzinger said, a vaccine almost, it’s not perfect. It clearly does protect – think of how much worse things would have been in all these cases if the person had not been immunized with their priestly vows. We can only shudder when we look at what happens in the unvaccinated. Wonderful news, Ratzinger said, I wish we had had it decades ago.
There will of course be a lot of complex calculations for Catholic theologians. While, by far the most common thing these drugs do is to degrade sexual function, in some cases they can provoke suicide and even homicide. The benefit-risk equation though clearly stacks up in favour not just of treatment but mandatory treatment. Lives will be lost, but this is a Just War and the Church has centuries of thinking on this issue.
The Church welcomes news of Post-SSRI Sexual Dysfunction (PSSD). This offers the chance that after a period of time, it may be possible to stop the treatment and therefore reduce the risk of suicide while leaving clerics happily neutered.
Jorge-Mario is considering a donation to the RxISK Prize to advance an understanding of PSSD in the hope these neutered states might soon be achieved as quickly and efficiently as possible.
Questions have been asked about breakthrough or enhanced infections after treatment. It is true that in some cases rather than numbing genitals, these treatments can lead to genital irritability. In some cases there can even be Persistent Genital Arousal.
PGAD appears more likely to affect women and some sources in the Vatican, speaking on condition of anonymity, have noted that this confirms the wisdom of the Church in not having woman participate fully in sensitive roles. Advances in pharmacology will hopefully make this problem more manageable and women will be able to participate more fully in the life of the Church.
In breakthrough cases, there is always the option of boosting with Accutane or else with Finasteride or Minoxidil. There is no reason why all of these options couldn’t be pursued. We can expect, one source told us, for the clergy quite soon to have an even disposition, free from libidinal impulses, but also to have clear and smooth skin, and a luxurious head of hair. They will also gain some weight and so the clerical look of the future will be rather cherubic – we might even pitch it as angelic.
(Jesus is always portrayed as having great hair, good skin and a calm countenance – perhaps there is something here we have been missing for the last two millennia).
Vatican officials have noted a providential aspect to these drugs and our growing understanding of what providence might have made possible in providing these drugs. There appears to be a rising tide of people who view themselves as asexual. Some of these seem likely to be this way because their mothers took antidepressants while pregnant or they themselves took antidepressants or Accutane in their prepubertal or pubertal years, when some are likely to have started Finasteride also. People affected this way would make perfect recruits to the clergy.
There may be questions though as to whether natural immunity in these cases would suffice or whether even though naturally immune, people will have to have regular booster shots in order to gain immunity passports. Given prior histories in this area, a diocese might be wary of accepting a new recruit on the basis of their claims that they are naturally immune to sexually abusing minors.